NationStates

A Place to respectfully discuss those topics that you should never discuss.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:05 pm

Zarniwoop wrote:I helped build a Formula 1 track in a swamp


“Crocodile roadkill is smeared across the asphalt of the new Formula One track”

Ha! **** em!
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Re: NationStates

Postby Rocker » Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:17 pm

Buc2 wrote:
Zarniwoop wrote:I helped build a Formula 1 track in a swamp


“Crocodile roadkill is smeared across the asphalt of the new Formula One track”

Ha! **** em!



Don’t let Croc see this.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:01 pm

I refused to increase the military budget....so naturally....

“the military frequently holds bake sales to raise funds. “
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Re: NationStates

Postby NYBF » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:03 pm

I rid my nation of prisons. How?

An old friend of mine passed away and lef tme a large plot of land, with one caveat: I must use it to build an arena to host gladiator-style fights.

I had 3 choices: yes, no, or eliminate prisons and make criminals fight for their freedom. Seemed like an easy choice.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 9:12 am

NYBF wrote:I rid my nation of prisons. How?

An old friend of mine passed away and lef tme a large plot of land, with one caveat: I must use it to build an arena to host gladiator-style fights.

I had 3 choices: yes, no, or eliminate prisons and make criminals fight for their freedom. Seemed like an easy choice.

Awesome!

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Re: NationStates

Postby NYBF » Mon Sep 10, 2018 9:50 am

I think this is my favorite newspaper banner so far

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I'm not sure how tied the banners actually are to issues, but it popped up after I legalized human cloning for organ transplants and food.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Mountaineer Buc » Mon Sep 10, 2018 9:53 am

Had an opportunity to address the decaying state of Little Kanawaha airlines.

Sadly, full nationalization of the airlines was not one of my options. Pity because the free market can't run an airline for **** anyway. So I gave the union stronger powers over the business.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:33 am

After the Citizenship and Immigration Services announced that they received a record number of applicants for naturalization, people have once again begun to debate who should or should not be considered Republic of Zarnian countrymen.


The Debate

Option 1 -- “Well, blood really decides it all,” claims armchair eugenicist Gary Hamilton. “Without the genes that allowed for such historical greatness, our ancestors could never have built such a fine country. To protect their timeless achievements, we must settle once and for all that a citizen of Republic of Zarnia can only come from ethnically pure parents. Other races cannot pollute our citizenry, lest they undermine the very values that the nation depends upon.”

Option 2 -- “Hey, that’s absolutely horrific!” hollers Lucy Norris, a Lilliputian immigrant. “Republic of Zarnia needs to be open to all colors, creeds and cultures that come here to live a better life. Nothing justifies punishing people for having the ‘wrong’ birthplace or family tree. Everyone born in Republic of Zarnia deserves the right for equal treatment! And even if you weren’t born here, it should be easy to join the ranks of your fellow citizens!”

Option 3 -- “Anyone hypothetically can become a citizen, but they first need to fully understand our way of life,” remarks civics teacher Sayid Turnbull. “If you’re not ready to learn the values that are the bedrock of Republic of Zarnia, you’ve got no business being part of our Nomadic Peoples. That means memorizing all forty verses of the national anthem and being able to list all 1,024 cantons in alphabetical order, like any true citizen of Republic of Zarnia can. Only those who pass a stringent exam can prove themselves to be true Republic of Zarnians.”







----


BMD -- you choose #1 don't you :P
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:42 am

Talk about 3 suck-ass choices... sheesh. No matter which choice you make, Zarnia will suffer for it.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:44 am

i picked 2
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:48 am

I dismissed this issue, but the first debate cracked me up...

The Issue
Last night the respected tabloid TV show 60 Minutes ran a report on Bucland’s rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?

The Debate
“There’s a simple solution,” says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. “Divorce should be illegal. ‘For better or worse,’ anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be.”

Accept

John Black, author of the hit book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,’ has a simpler solution. “If couples would just call each other ‘darling’ once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse ‘darling’ at least once a day, or face a fine.”

Accept

“There’s a simple way to boost the marriage rate,” says gay rights activist Tobias Mombota. “Abolish those archaic laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It’s obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones.”

Accept
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Re: NationStates

Postby Mountaineer Buc » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:50 am

What, you couldn't legalize same-sex marriage?

Tranny....uh...Tyranny!
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:51 am

Buc2 wrote:I dismissed this issue, but the first debate cracked me up...

The Issue
Last night the respected tabloid TV show 60 Minutes ran a report on Bucland’s rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?

The Debate
“There’s a simple solution,” says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. “Divorce should be illegal. ‘For better or worse,’ anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be.”

Accept

John Black, author of the hit book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,’ has a simpler solution. “If couples would just call each other ‘darling’ once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse ‘darling’ at least once a day, or face a fine.”

Accept

“There’s a simple way to boost the marriage rate,” says gay rights activist Tobias Mombota. “Abolish those archaic laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It’s obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones.”

Accept


That could have been a really fun one with better options
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:02 pm

This is the closest WA vote I've seen since we started playing this game...

General Assembly Resolution At Vote

Ban On Capital Punishment
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.
Category: Human Rights
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: United Massachusetts

Having already presented its rationale in GA 438,

Restating, however, that the death penalty institutionalizes a model of justice with only retributive value, a model inherently flawed in its assertion that violence and killing are best dealt with by more bloodshed,

Concerned that the use of capital punishment prevents nations from taking steps to correct errors in their legal process, the most grave and final sentence having already been delivered,

Believing that life sentences and other alternative punishments better provide criminals with the opportunities to repent for their wrongs and improve their habits,

Asserting that justice is best served without the death penalty, for it is cruel, condemns certain innocent people to death, and rejects the affirmation that all sapient life is valuable by its very existence,

The General Assembly, at long last, invoking its august power in this present session assembled, and by the advice and consent of its delegates and member nations, hereby:

Declares that no member state may execute any person under its jurisdiction,

Mandates that member nations commute any death sentences handed down within their jurisdiction, and instead determine through their legal processes an alternative punishment,

And prohibits member nations from extraditing individuals to a foreign nation where they are likely to face execution or capital punishment in line with prohibited punishment above.

Co-authored by: Imperium Anglorum

For 5,878
47.2%

Against 6,571
52.8%
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Re: NationStates

Postby NYBF » Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:06 pm

I think that may have flipped in the last day or so. I thought For the ban was ahead yesterday when I voted.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:13 pm

NYBF wrote:I think that may have flipped in the last day or so. I thought For the ban was ahead yesterday when I voted.

Must have. The above was just a few minutes ago.
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Re: NationStates

Postby beardmcdoug » Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:22 pm

Zarniwoop wrote:After the Citizenship and Immigration Services announced that they received a record number of applicants for naturalization, people have once again begun to debate who should or should not be considered Republic of Zarnian countrymen.


The Debate

Option 1 -- “Well, blood really decides it all,” claims armchair eugenicist Gary Hamilton. “Without the genes that allowed for such historical greatness, our ancestors could never have built such a fine country. To protect their timeless achievements, we must settle once and for all that a citizen of Republic of Zarnia can only come from ethnically pure parents. Other races cannot pollute our citizenry, lest they undermine the very values that the nation depends upon.”

Option 2 -- “Hey, that’s absolutely horrific!” hollers Lucy Norris, a Lilliputian immigrant. “Republic of Zarnia needs to be open to all colors, creeds and cultures that come here to live a better life. Nothing justifies punishing people for having the ‘wrong’ birthplace or family tree. Everyone born in Republic of Zarnia deserves the right for equal treatment! And even if you weren’t born here, it should be easy to join the ranks of your fellow citizens!”

Option 3 -- “Anyone hypothetically can become a citizen, but they first need to fully understand our way of life,” remarks civics teacher Sayid Turnbull. “If you’re not ready to learn the values that are the bedrock of Republic of Zarnia, you’ve got no business being part of our Nomadic Peoples. That means memorizing all forty verses of the national anthem and being able to list all 1,024 cantons in alphabetical order, like any true citizen of Republic of Zarnia can. Only those who pass a stringent exam can prove themselves to be true Republic of Zarnians.”







----


BMD -- you choose #1 don't you :P


I didn't even read past #1 :D
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:59 pm

Buc2 wrote:
NYBF wrote:I think that may have flipped in the last day or so. I thought For the ban was ahead yesterday when I voted.

Must have. The above was just a few minutes ago.



I’d vote against the ban. Each country should have the freedom to decide for themselves.


But then again, I got kicked out of WA so I can’t vote

:P
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:54 pm

Zarniwoop wrote:
Buc2 wrote:Must have. The above was just a few minutes ago.



I’d vote against the ban. Each country should have the freedom to decide for themselves.


But then again, I got kicked out of WA so I can’t vote

:P

I did vote no and for that exact reason.

Why did you get kicked out?
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Re: NationStates

Postby The Outsider » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:55 pm

I voted no, not for that reason, but because Butthutians cherish their god-given right to execute criminals.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 3:12 pm

Buc2 wrote:
Zarniwoop wrote:

I’d vote against the ban. Each country should have the freedom to decide for themselves.


But then again, I got kicked out of WA so I can’t vote

:P

I did vote no and for that exact reason.

Why did you get kicked out?


In one of my issues, They wanted to make my country pay more money in dues. I told them to **** off.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Mon Sep 10, 2018 3:23 pm

Zarniwoop wrote:
Buc2 wrote:I did vote no and for that exact reason.

Why did you get kicked out?


In one of my issues, They wanted to make my country pay more money in dues. I told them to **** off.

Seriously? That's fucked up. You represented Buczonia well, though. We should all protest by walking out of the WA. Buncha Nazi ***holes. :lol:
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Re: NationStates

Postby beardmcdoug » Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:14 pm

beardmcdoug wrote:The Most Serene Republic of Bearded Gentlefolk has reached a Golden Age. Or at least I say it has

Science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, tightly packed choir-boys sing the god-given joys of heterosexuality on public transport, immigrants complain that natives keep coming over and taking their jobs,


reeeeeeeeeaaaaallly starting to hit our stride; add:

and schoolboys trained in chivalry are encouraged to duel other boys for a maiden's hand.
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:32 pm

Yes!
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:24 pm

Another dumb one


The number of pregnant tourists arriving in Republic of Zarnia dramatically increased after the country started granting citizenship to all babies born on its soil. Several of your sources report that most of these birth tourists are wealthy and often come from authoritarian nations.

The Debate

“Of course they come here; we grant citizenship like we were born yesterday, without regard for heritage!” exclaims Grand Mage Beverly Pushkin, leader of a Republic of Zarnian nationalist group. “The mothers come here and pay to stay in some luxury hotel suite, give birth, then go back to their country. It’s wrong! Soon these kids will grow up and move to live in this great nation, bringing their foreign garbage cultures with them. There’s nothing Republic of Zarnian about these babies, but we give them citizenship anyway. Mandate that only those with Republic of Zarnian blood in their veins can be citizens.”

Accept

“Let’s not be too hasty here,” chimes in Frank Winters, your chief financial adviser, scribbling some numbers on a sheet of paper. “Don’t you realize what a lucrative business opportunity we have here? If these parents are willing to spend lots of money to travel here just so their kids can be citizens, maybe we should charge them for each baby born in Republic of Zarnia! You know, like a citizenship tax. According to my calculations, this would fill up our coffers in no time!”

Accept

“The government should not put our birthright up for sale,” argues Erica Dubois, struggling mother of two. “It’s unfair that foreigners can obtain citizenship without having anything to do with Republic of Zarnia. So why don’t we just ban pregnant women from traveling to Republic of Zarnia? They’re just here to take advantage of our country; their children do not deserve citizenship.”
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Re: NationStates

Postby uscbucsfan » Mon Sep 10, 2018 6:34 pm

Maybe already posted, but Rap Sucks.


.Notorious gangster-rapper Wally E was recently taken to court for the suspected murder of a policeman, but was found innocent due to lack of evidence. This surprised many, as one of his more popular raps (“I Killed A Cop And I Liked It”) contained a complete confession for the shooting within its lyrics.

The Debate
“How could we let this happen? I tell you, rap music is just sick minds preaching to a sick audience,” spits right-wing demagogue Angus Holst, free-styling on stage with a microphone in front of a cheering crowd. “There has to be something wrong with you to enjoy its message of anarchistic hate. We’re talking about a recorded confession, flaunted in public. Rappers should be held to account for their hateful words, and their filth music should be admissible as court evidence.” With that, he drops the mic, and strides off to rapturous applause.

Accept

“Woah woah woah, I mean... just cos I got, you know, artistic words shouldn’t mean you haters should hate me,” argues Wally E, reading from a prepared statement. “I mean, like, don’t hate freedom of artistic expression, or something? I don’t mean everything in my songs literally. We should be free, to like, artistically express. We are artists. Expressing ourselves. So don’t hate on me. Yeah.”

Accept

“The problem here is that rap music is terrible trash, enjoyed only by the musical illiterati,” observes classical guitarist Erica Pence, strumming out a complex flamenco ligado. “Shouldn’t we pursue a bare minimum of artistic standards in our cultural output? Perhaps the government should create an official Music Standards Bureau to regulate what sort of material gets airplay and exposure. Frankly, we need a better class of music.”

Accept
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Re: NationStates

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Sep 10, 2018 6:46 pm

Ban Rap!!!
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Re: NationStates

Postby beardmcdoug » Mon Sep 10, 2018 6:54 pm

C!!!!
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Re: NationStates

Postby NYBF » Tue Sep 11, 2018 8:26 am

The Issue
A survey by the socially conservative special interest group Society for the Prevention of Ominous, Unusual and Substandard Edibles found that 14.3% of Squatters Cragian husbands hate their wife’s cooking, with a further 28.6% secretly describing their wife as “just not a very good cook, really”. Lead researchers Peterson and Wason warn that bad food could cause marital discord, malnutrition and jaw strain due to excessive mastication.

The Debate
A researcher wheels in a television and turns it on, to reveal an anonymised male. “My mummy was the best cook,” sighs the voice, obscured by a synthesiser and sounding vaguely like a duck. “Filet of beef in peppercorn sauce and shepherd’s pie with braised lamb. My wife does make shepherd’s pie three times a week, but she uses beef, and sometimes tomatoes. Honest to Violet. I told her that my mummy said that’s more of a cottage pie, but she just... she keeps doing it. Leader, send our wives to compulsory subsidised cookery classes, so they’ll learn to cook, just like our mummies used to. The men of Squatters Crag work hard all day. We deserve a decent meal.”

Accept

“Why can’t he make his own ***damn meals?” demands Lucy Gilligan, of Stressed Wives Not-so-Anonymous, shoving the TV-trolley out of the door and sending it careening along a corridor and down a flight of stairs. “He sounds just like my Chris. Always whining. Look, Squatters Cragian women are too busy to be farting around with all that gourmet manure. When I come home from work, I have kids to care for, the house to clean, and then I make a meal for five people. If His Highness helped me out, I’d get some me-time, and he might finally get a meal he’s happy with. Run a national campaign to tell husbands that they have an obligation to get off their butts and help their wives.”

Accept

“This sad attitude indicates a much deeper problem,” sighs chauvinist psychiatrist Sayid Sullivan, whose wife stands next to him, smiling unblinkingly and holding his half-eaten sandwich. “Women have lost the joy of service. Modern society tells women to distrust their head of household, which causes insecurity. Insecure women argue, which causes stress. Stressed women perform their functions haphazardly, if at all. Women would be happier, families would be more stable, if disobedient wives were returned to their naturally submissive state, through drugs, electroshock and frontal lobotomies as necessary. Remember, if a woman doesn’t live to serve her master, something is wrong psychologically.”

Accept
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Re: NationStates

Postby Buc2 » Tue Sep 11, 2018 8:37 am

Go with #3, of course.
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