Bugger!!!

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Bugger!!!

Postby IronDog » Tue May 08, 2018 2:11 pm

Welp, looks like I am returning to my old homestead for the weekend. Dad doesn't think mom will last the month, so getting in the truck Thursday morning, turning South for an 11-hour endurance run and trying to spend Mother's Day with mom while I still can. Hopefully she'll still remember me. More importantly, hopefully she won't leave before I get there.

This Alzheimer's/ Dimentia/TIA crap sucks big time.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Crocaneers » Tue May 08, 2018 2:13 pm

Not ever a good trip .. no matter .. she knows you are there. Close all the open doors, brother.

Stay in peace.

Be there for Dad and family. Say what you need to, swallow what you have to.

I wish for more days. Will be praying for sure ID
Last edited by Crocaneers on Tue May 08, 2018 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby PrimeMinister » Tue May 08, 2018 2:17 pm

Praying for you. Be there and love your parents every second.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Zarniwoop » Tue May 08, 2018 2:20 pm

Good luck. Be strong.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby beardmcdoug » Tue May 08, 2018 2:47 pm

best of luck man, stay strong
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Buc2 » Tue May 08, 2018 3:31 pm

IronDog wrote:Welp, looks like I am returning to my old homestead for the weekend. Dad doesn't think mom will last the month, so getting in the truck Thursday morning, turning South for an 11-hour endurance run and trying to spend Mother's Day with mom while I still can. Hopefully she'll still remember me. More importantly, hopefully she won't leave before I get there.

This Alzheimer's/ Dimentia/TIA crap sucks big time.

Sorry to hear this, ID.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Rocker » Tue May 08, 2018 3:48 pm

beardmcdoug wrote:best of luck man, stay strong
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Mountaineer Buc » Tue May 08, 2018 3:58 pm

Do what you gotta do.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby IronDog » Fri May 18, 2018 6:18 pm

Gah! What a horrible disease.

1st. She is extremely depressed and crying on her bed. Keeps asking what she did to deserve this. "Why am I being punished. I thought I did the right things. I must have done something wrong!" Friggin heart wrenching.

Then 5 minutes later and they come to get her for lunch and it's like someone flipped a toggle switch. She's laughing, flirting with another resident.

Then 10 minutes later they flipped the switch back and back to depressing....

Dad tells me 20 to 30 minutes for the cycles. And you never know what you can expect.

I told him I thought her happy phase was when her 10-yr old mind was most engaged. And when she was upset was when her 81-yr old mind was most active and she knew things weren't right.

She is constantly wanting to go home during that phase. The resident nurses have told him that under no circumstances should he take her home cause he'd never get her back in the facility. Same likely would be the case if he took her out to dinner. He'd never get her out of the car.

But talk about guilt trips.

Went in on Mother's Day and she was sitting in one of the recliners around the TV lounge with everyone else. Might have been 1 person watching the TV. Most were having their post-lunch nap. She was in her happy mode til the movie started. Why the hell would you have a Hunger Games movie on? Well she doesn't like violence so that was a negative. She was fighting off the bad phase until they rolled Mary in. Seems Mary only cries. And I mean the not-quite-silent big-gulp subs. Non-stop. And directly in mom's line of site. Well she kept pointing her out and telling me that it was heart-breaking. I got up and asked the staff if there wasn't anything they could do for her. Their response..."Oh that's just Mary. She always cries. There isn't anything we can do for her"
And that broke mom's happy phase and she got angry and stormed out of the lounge, demanding to be taken home. She hated this place.
They gave her half a valium and she stormed off to her room.

Unfortunately, after dinner found her still in a sour mood, and she said a bunch of nasty things to dad. Things you know she didn't mean.

Try as he might, tho, when she fell and broke her back, and he hurt his trying to pick her up, he realized that he couldn't take care of her alone anymore. Said it was the hardest decision he ever made and it continues to eat at him.

I told Shirley to just point me into traffic. She has no quality of life and just wants to die. I don't want to live like that. Just killed me with that visit. Dad says, chemically, her body, tho frail, is well balanced, according to the drs. That's the curse we live with these days. Modern medicine has figured out how to keep our bodies alive, but the mind leaves them baffled.
Last edited by IronDog on Sat May 19, 2018 9:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Rocker » Fri May 18, 2018 6:55 pm

ID, thanks for sharing. I can’t begin to imagine how difficult this is for you. PM me if you feel the need.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby IronDog » Sun Oct 14, 2018 7:26 pm

Well I've mixed emotions, and not very good ones at that. My mom has moved down to wheelchair bound and has stopped eating. Hospice was brought in to evaluate and said when they stop eating you are looking at maybe weeks. The old man went to see her today and had to leave in near hysterics. Said you know we had nearly 60 years together and this was the first time I couldn't feel her mind. He feels a week might be stretching it. I'm all over the place. I spoke with my brother and him and asked if it would be beneficial to come down now to see her before she passes. Dad basically cut me off with an emphatic no. She wouldn't know you. I asked her if she remembered Jeff and she didn't. At least I had Mother's Day, for a little bit. I think I need a drink.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Crocaneers » Sun Oct 14, 2018 8:53 pm

That's grief my friend. I am so sorry. I pray your trip is easy on you as you yourself are still healing.

I'm glad you got to visit earlier this year.

God speed.

You've had enough lists for a while :(
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Nano » Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:21 pm

Sorry to hear that ID, it really sucks losing a family member...especially your mom. At least she got to last longer than just Mothers Day, and hopefully it will be a painless departure.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby PrimeMinister » Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:25 pm

Prayers are with you man. That’s heart wrenching.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby beardmcdoug » Sun Oct 14, 2018 11:16 pm

Really sorry to hear that man, hang in there
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Buc2 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:55 am

:( That disease is like losing a loved one twice. I was fortunate that I only had to lose my mom once.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby mdb1958 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:00 am

Crocaneers wrote:That's grief my friend. I am so sorry. I pray your trip is easy on you as you yourself are still healing.

I'm glad you got to visit earlier this year.

God speed.

You've had enough lists for a while :(


Just heard a good one.

Dont worry about tomorrow because God's already there.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Zarniwoop » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:43 am

Sorry to hear this ID...prayers sent your families way
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Rocker » Mon Oct 15, 2018 10:27 am

My condolences.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby Noles1724 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 11:22 am

going through this myself with my mother-in-law. the f'd up thing is that the husband (married when my wife, the youngest, was a senior in HS) basically backed the F out of the picture as soon as symptoms started to surface. Got a divorce, signed decision rights to the daughters.. just really flaked out.

We're in the process now of moving her from IL to FL because we're running out of money and when we get her here the facility is a ton times better and we can apply for Medicaid (some loop hole..wifey is on top of it). Not to mention we've transferred grandma and she'll be in the same facility so that'll be nice.

Still feel kind of shitty looking back at the a-ah moment. Wife's mom had a huge house and the family would always do xmas morning breakfast.. usually 10 -15 peeps. At the last second, my wife said that we had to have the breakfast event at our place because she was being told that her mom just couldn't handle having that many people over and everything that comes with it. Today if that was to occur, fine.. but back then I lived in a shitty 2 bedroom condo, two young kids/babies(so swings and other baby crap around), and a dog.. and now we we're going to have x amount more people in our place?!? It caused major stress and I simply could not fathom what the hell was going on. To be fair no one did and it was just odd over all.
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Re: Bugger!!!

Postby McFan » Mon Oct 15, 2018 11:46 am

IronDog wrote:Welp, looks like I am returning to my old homestead for the weekend. Dad doesn't think mom will last the month, so getting in the truck Thursday morning, turning South for an 11-hour endurance run and trying to spend Mother's Day with mom while I still can. Hopefully she'll still remember me. More importantly, hopefully she won't leave before I get there.

This Alzheimer's/ Dimentia/TIA crap sucks big time.


God bless. And yes, it does.
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