Joke Thread

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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Kress » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:41 am

Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and calls 911. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" 

The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help you. First of all, let's make sure he's dead."
 
There’s a silence, then a gun shot. The guy gets back on the phone and says "OK, now what?"
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Buc2 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:24 pm

I laughed.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby IchabodCrane84 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 7:47 pm

How do Reavers clean their spears?

Spoiler:
They put them through the wash.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Buc2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:05 am

IchabodCrane84 wrote:How do Reavers clean their spears?

Spoiler:
They put them through the wash.


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Re: Joke Thread

Postby PrimeMinister » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:05 am

Buc2 wrote:
IchabodCrane84 wrote:How do Reavers clean their spears?

Spoiler:
They put them through the wash.


Image


My thoughts exactly
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby IchabodCrane84 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:31 pm

PrimeMinister wrote:
Buc2 wrote:
Image


My thoughts exactly


Apparently, there are no more Firefly fans on this board.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Buc2 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:23 am

IchabodCrane84 wrote:
PrimeMinister wrote:
My thoughts exactly


Apparently, there are no more Firefly fans on this board.

Never seen it.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Teitan » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:55 am

Buc2 wrote:
IchabodCrane84 wrote:
Apparently, there are no more Firefly fans on this board.

Never seen it.


Me either. There is a weird nerd niche out there for it.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Caradoc » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:47 pm

I saw fireflyedit - Serenity . Looked like the show had a great premise and great actors. I might have caught up on it if it lasted more than one season.
Last edited by Caradoc on Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Zarniwoop » Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:19 pm

I thought it was meh. Ok enough to waste time with but nothing great. The Western stuff was far too forced at times
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Caradoc » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:52 am

Actually I meant to type Serenity. Never saw the series, just the post-cancellation movie.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Mountaineer Buc » Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:15 pm

William Shatner has discontinued his line of women's lingerie.


Apparently, "Shatner Panties" was not a big hit.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Teitan » Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:56 pm

Mountaineer Buc wrote:William Shatner has discontinued his line of women's lingerie.


Apparently, "Shatner Panties" was not a big hit.


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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Heidguy » Mon Apr 30, 2018 4:55 pm

I used to have a fear of hurdles....








































then I got over it.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Ironworker808 » Thu May 03, 2018 2:09 pm

An Irishman walks out of a bar...




What? It could happen.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Mountaineer Buc » Thu May 03, 2018 2:22 pm

Ironworker808 wrote:An Irishman walks out of a bar...




What? It could happen.

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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Stuart » Thu May 03, 2018 2:32 pm

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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Buc2 » Thu May 03, 2018 3:51 pm

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius.

But did you know his brother, Frank, was a monster?
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Rocker » Thu May 03, 2018 3:54 pm

Buc2 wrote:We all know Albert Einstein was a genius.

But did you know his brother, Frank, was a monster?



Found the dad.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby PrimeMinister » Thu May 03, 2018 4:07 pm

Buc2 wrote:We all know Albert Einstein was a genius.

But did you know his brother, Frank, was a monster?


Hehe. I laughed.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby DreadNaught » Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:52 pm

Yo momma is so fat.... Thanos had to snap twice!! :lol:
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Babeinbucland » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:05 pm

[img]https://scontent.ftpa1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/34582150_10214762432887261_2323378355660914688_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&_nc_eui2=AeFWeulHTBfu68FWuLXF0rsNaiwOC0wENL8bg-4YluC5MpRn0TXBWPNxvNHGD4xWlUTgMtiNs9lZEnjN2zLNDsvBgMC5RCUI5c-UDvslYptlUg&oh=98a058d8adfed15909099ebeac04f2d4&oe=5BB6F97F[img/]
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby DreadNaught » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:06 pm

Babeinbucland wrote:Image
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby NYBF » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:27 pm

I thought this was funny

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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Buc2 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:11 pm

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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Onthebrink » Mon Jul 09, 2018 1:38 pm

My ex girlfriend owned a parrot and that bitch never shutup. But the bird was cool.
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Babeinbucland » Sat Aug 18, 2018 11:53 am

THE DEAD COW LECTURE


This is the best example for paying attention that I have ever heard.

First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor.
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said,
"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
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