Doctor wrote:Caradoc wrote:
Shaming and consequences are irrelevant. Either he's innocent of the Kinsman thing and this is a drunken indiscretion that was blown out of proportion in the current environment (even the driver didn't think it was worth pursuing in the past), so we have noting to worry about, or he's a predator and it's just a matter of time.
Agent Orange wrote:Also a story in the New York Post entitled, Jameis Winston grabbed my crotch: Uber driver, states that she said he grabbed her crotch for about 3-5 seconds and the SHE removed his hand and said "what's up with that"? What I have read before in the discussion about whether or not it was sexual assault said that he removed his hand himself. According to that article that is false.
I know in this day and age it's dangerous to defend any sort of behaviour like this, and by no means am I trying to, but soooo much things like this can fall in a gray area. Reminds me of the Aziz thing from a while back. Here's the thing about his, it obviously didn't seem big enough for her to move forward, and he didn't "try again" taking the first no as the final answer. Which is good on him. Now for the dangerous part- a fundamental part about making a move is that you don't know if it's going to work until after you do it. And at the end of the day the fine line between a great move and sexual harassment is how it's accepted. And here's another thing, one move can works on a thousand women just fine but be horribly rejected by a thousand others. You never know. A move that works on the last 12 girls can be seen as assault or harassment by the next. Courting has never been an exact science and the best you can hope for it you aren't misreading your signs and your move will go over well but there's always that risk. That risk is shared, because no woman wants to have any move made on her that... well, she doesn't want. So it clearly sucks for both parties and no one likes it. It's a tough pill to swallow up until people start clearly indicating their interests levels with post-it numbers on their foreheads a lot is still left up to interpretation and human judgement and thus will have a lot of errors. Acknowledging the errors and correcting them ASAP is important and we don't talk about that enough as men. But also turning any unwelcome action into a hashtag has it's own dangers.
At the end all this doesn't matter. The golden rule: Winning Cures Everything.
I agree with your premise... but there's one difference in Winston's situation that sets this apart (let alone the fact that she was hired, and she was working)
Famous Jameis was black out drunk. Uber girl was sober as a bird.
The chance of a black out drunk dude cold seducing a sober woman has gotta be like .001%. I honestly don't know if it can be done. Maybe there's some ancient text documenting the one guy in human history, but I've never seen it or heard about it.
I think we can all agree about the risk, etc that you outline in the above, but Jameis' case wasn't exactly "oh gee will my high school crush kiss me back if I lean in right now"
he was like
"bllrruugh whaaaat upppp baaaaBAYYYY.
EY.
EY.
ey.
*hand in the crotch*
*stares*
It's just no good. That's never gonna be a good outcome. Dudes all over need to know when to pack it in.